5 Mindful Ways to Deal with Wedding Planning Stress (plus one important bonus tip…)

Wedding planning can be fun and exciting. There are the engagement photos and parties, social media posts, cake tastings, invitation samples, food and wine tastings, visiting venues, getting freebies, and going to bridal shows. It really is a fun time.

But let’s face it. Wedding planning can also be an extremely stressful time. From dealing with parents who have their own vision for what your wedding should look like, to budgets that keep expanding, to the uncertainty created by the new Omicron variant, there are many things that can keep you up at night. Or worse—they cause you to start arguing with your partner over silly things.

Don’t worry. Take a moment and just breathe. There are ways to handle this stress. Here is a small list of tools to help you navigate this time and make the fun and excitement outweigh the stress.

Here are my Five Mindful Ways to Deal with Wedding Planning Stress:

1. Take a “no wedding talk” break. If you and your partner are starting to bicker because the guest list is out of control, or your cousin’s kid “needs” to be in the wedding when neither of you wanted them there, just decide on a “time out.” No wedding talk. For a day, for a couple of hours, even for 30 minutes. Just agree on what feels like the right amount of time and then drop everything wedding related.

What do you do? Take a walk, play video games, cook your favorite meal, watch a movie, have sex. Whatever you want to do other than planning. When the time is over, you will be reminded of why you fell in love in the first place and you’ll be better able to solve whatever the latest issue was with the planning and you’ll solve it together.

2. Meditate. If you haven’t tried meditation yet, now is a good time to get started. Sometimes people tell me that they’re no good at meditation because they can’t get their minds to stop. I always tell them, you don’t have to get your mind to stop. The mind is doing what it was built for—thinking. It won’t stop thinking. The point of meditation is noticing when you get carried away in those thoughts and stop paying attention to the present moment.

Does that sound familiar? I’m sure it does.

So, try meditating. You don’t even have to do it for a long period of time. Even just five minutes of noticing the ins and outs of your breath can really help soothe the nervous system and focus your mind. Then when the thoughts come, you can just notice them, and let them go.

If you don’t know how to get started, try an app. I like Insight Timer (I’m not sponsored). It’s free and there are thousands of styles of meditation from most of the world’s various spiritual traditions, and you can sort them by experience level, time length, and more.

3. Do a “Brain Dump.” Sometimes we’re simply stressed out because we know there’s a ton to do, but we can’t quite keep track of everything. This is definitely something that can happen when planning a wedding. You might have new ideas that come up, a vendor suddenly surprises you with a question you hadn’t really thought of before, your third cousin still hasn’t returned their RSVP; it’s A LOT.

A technique I love to use when my thoughts are racing, is to do a “brain dump” and get it all down on paper. I especially like to do this before bed so that I can fall asleep peacefully knowing that I haven’t forgotten anything. Just grab a notebook and pen, or your computer if you just prefer digital, and write down EVERYTHING that comes to mind about what needs to get done, any new ideas, anything that has been floating around in your brain.

You’ll be amazed about how much lighter you feel once you do that. Once everything is down on paper, then you can take a look at everything, decide the order of priority, and make a list or put items in your calendar and tackle them one by one.

4. Exercise. I know, I know, you’re probably sick of hearing everyone tout exercise as a stress reliever, but honestly it really is. Not only does it release endorphins, but if done correctly, you can’t really focus on much else other than the exercise.

It doesn’t have to be something you don’t like either. Exercise can be whatever physical activity is fun to you, so if you love weightlifting then go for it, but if you prefer turning on some salsa and jamming away for 15 to 30 minutes, that’s great too.

The point again is to get you in the present and not lost in your head. A lot of our stress comes from being in our heads too much. Get into your body instead. You’ll be amazed how much clearer your thoughts become.

5. Finally, Delegate, Delegate, Delegate. Let’s face it. Planning a big, once-in-a-lifetime event, like your wedding is a big deal with lots of moving parts. You can’t do it all alone. You need help. If you’re doing more than your partner and you’re feeling like it’s a burden, then you need to have a conversation and let them know that you need their help. Together, figure out what would be the best, most helpful thing for them to do and then let them do it.

If both of you are overwhelmed, then think of a list of close friends and family that you trust to handle things and ask them to do it. Make sure it’s the right people so that you can feel confident in delegating. Schedule check-ins with them to track progress, but let them help. They will be happy to do it.

While we’re talking about delegation, here is where I feel I must say a word on professional wedding planners. There is a reason they are professional and make a living doing this. They are great at it. They know what to expect and what to watch out for, they know how to talk to other vendors, they know how much time and money it takes to do things—they know their job.

If you can invest in a planner, it is the best investment you could make. This will definitely alleviate a lot of stress. If you can’t hire a planner for all of your wedding planning needs, then hire a wedding day manager, or if possible, a wedding month manager. You will be absolutely glad that you did.

And Now for My Bonus Tip: Get Some Pre-Marital and Spiritual Counseling. If you and your partner have gotten to a point where there is something you just can’t agree on, or you’re both just so stressed out that you want help making sure you don’t take it out on each other, pre-marital/spiritual counseling can do lots to help.

My pre-marital and spiritual counseling sessions for couples are designed as a safe, non-judgmental space for you and your partner to have a neutral third party listen to the issues you want to discuss. These issues can be anything—a family member stressing you out about the wedding, grief over a deceased loved one, concerns about finances or raising children, even guest list issues you can’t seem to hash out on your own.

As an Interspiritual Minister, I am trained in doing these types of sessions from a spiritual lens, without any unwanted religious dogma, but with the ability to give you tools to help you navigate these stressful times, as well as any challenges you may face together in the future.

I’ve been happily married for more than 20 years now and I like to think that it has given me some wisdom that I can share with you. Let’s face it. As exciting as it is, marriage isn’t easy and neither is getting married. Sometimes you just need a little extra help.

And so, if you do need the extra help, I am happy to be that help. Feel free to contact me to ask about the pre-marital and spiritual counseling sessions: revmercy@revmercy.com

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So, that’s it—these are my 5 Mindful Ways to Deal With Wedding Planning Stress (plus one bonus tip). Try at least one or two and see what a difference it makes in your general well-being. Also try to get enough sleep, and drink plenty of water. Stay healthy during this time. Your body and mind will thank you for it on your beautiful and joyous wedding day. And remember, even though there is a lot of stress involved, it’s for a good reason—you’re getting married and you’re celebrating it with everyone you love! Remember to have fun in the process!

Did you like this post? Do you know someone planning a wedding who could use this advice? Feel free to Like and Share it.

Do you have any other tips you can think of for easing wedding planning stress? Or have you tried any of these and would like to share how they worked for you? Let me know in the comments below.